• Paula Newman

A Counsellor's Perspective

Updated: Mar 13

I have spread my dreams under your feet. Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.  ~Yeats ~

These two lines speak to me of the relationship between client and counsellor. Speaking openly about yourself can feel vulnerable and I want to respond with respect and sensitivity.

Dreams are delicate, they are real in our hearts but not in reality. Dreams for the future may not be fully formed and they can change. I am not here to shape yours by imposing my own agenda and views. Nor do I want to tamper with your memories or their significance.

Treading softly requires my full attention and presence while we sit together. It is my intention to provide an open space for you to move at your own pace and in your own direction.

If I urge you to go down a particular path, then I risk sending you off course or to areas that you are not yet ready to navigate. You are in the unique position of knowing what is going on from the inside, so I will take your lead. Perhaps you see an obvious route or we might only know your next step as you are taking it.

Sometimes people tell me that their concerns are small compared with the suffering of others. My own opinion is that suffering is not a matter of comparison. It is what it is for each of us. At the same time I understand that for some people, looking at themselves and their situation in a wider context can put things into perspective and that this can be useful.

 I am interested in whatever it is that brings you to therapy. This might include particular issues, your distress, a wish to explore and gain insights, a sense of something quite vague that needs your attention, decisions, hopes, dreams, and more...

Therapy is not always an easy option, looking at ourselves and our lives can take some courage. I hope to understand how things are from your point of view so that you feel truly heard and accepted.

Within an accepting empathic and genuine relationship there is more freedom to explore due to the lack of criticism.

At the same time I endeavour to be in touch with my own perspective so that I can share my insights with you when appropriate and so that I can remain grounded and supportive.

Having an awareness of my feelings and emotions allows me to be authentic and sincere. I hope that you will find my genuineness and honesty trustworthy and secure so that you feel safe enough to explore challenging areas and emotions.

He Wishes For The Cloths Of Heaven

By William Butler Yeats

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,

Enwrought with golden and silver light,

The blue and the dim and the dark cloths

Of night and light and the half-light.

I would spread the cloths under your feet:

But I, being poor, have only my dreams;

I have spread my dreams under your feet;

Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

Contact Paula Newman
Counsellor, Supervisor, Focusing trainer
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